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.x. Justine Elizabeth .x.

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( With Ciggerates and My 3 Closest Freinds I |Step Out On A Moonlit Roof.)

"Like a meeting of chance with the train station glance, many lifetimes had past in an instant." [14 Jun 2007|10:59pm]
[ mood | uncomfortable ]

Where has everyone gone? I'm not sure that I'm living the same life anymore. I'm not sure that I'm the same person anymore.

I have no idea what I'm doing anymore, day by day the time carries me away. I think I'm alone now, but I'm not really sure. Everything is hazy and confusing, the more I think about my life the more I realize I don't know. Why am I so unsure? I'm standing still and life is moving around me faster than I can even imagine. Spiraling out of control... but everything appears fine. I'm lost. I need to start moving again.

Love,
Justine

(Step Out On A Moonlit Roof.)

Why we love science school... [14 Nov 2006|05:40pm]
[ mood | dorky ]

Dear USP Community,



As you may be aware, it was necessary yesterday to take action in relation to the unauthorized presence of chemicals within USP property. I would like to provide you with the facts of what has occurred and is known to date:



* Early Monday morning, USP Security received a report that there

was an "odor" coming from a dorm room in Goodman Hall.

* Upon investigating the report, Security discovered unauthorized

chemicals in a dorm room.

* To ensure the safety of the USP community, Security immediately

removed the chemicals.

* The proper authorities were called in to evaluate the substances

and to determine the nature of the chemicals.

* It was determined that the chemicals did not pose a threat to

the safety and well-being of the campus community.

(Step Out On A Moonlit Roof.)

News, News, Good News, and more News [17 Jan 2006|05:17pm]
[ mood | cheerful ]

I got accepted to the University of Sciences in Philadelphia and I'm so friggin excited/relieved!!
They also offered me a $28,000 scholarship!!!

However, I'm visiting Coastal Carolina University during winter break so I should know where I will be going to college by the end of February.
I can't wait to decide and send in all the enrollment papers!

This summer is going to be amazing:
Prom : June 8th
Senior Trip : June 9th-11th
Prom Weekend : June 16th-18th
Birthday/Graduation : June 22nd
Trip to Germany : July 3rd-15th (?)
House in Martha's Vineyard: July 23rd-30th
Possibly Camping with the cuz.
Trips to the shore.
Then off to college!

I'm so excited!


In other news:
Chris and I have been together for 11 + months.
Chris moved back to Stevens and I miss him. : (
We're going to be playing with bacteria in AP Bio!
I'm in the middle of reading "Haunted" by Chuck Palahniuk, and its really good.
I'm doing well in school.
I can drop band now.
I'm stealing someone's wireless internet right now, its really slow but convienent.

That's all I have to update about now. I have been busy, although it doesn't seem like it. I also will continue to be busy because I have lots of plans!

Well, bye bye live journal readers,
Justine.

(Step Out On A Moonlit Roof.)

Because Marin tagged me, I guess I had too. [04 Dec 2005|03:42pm]
Rules of the game : write down 5 random facts about yourself, and then post the name of 5 people who you in turn wish to infect.

1) I have read every one of Chuck Palaniuk's book, except two.

2) I decided that I'm never driving in the snow because I don't know how to clean my car off.

3) As much as I want to go to USP, I don't want to go ther.

4) This week is going to be one of the hardest in my life, and I don't know how to prepare myself for it.

5) I received a retirement plan this summer and considered retiring from my internship.


I tag Steve Delaney, Ethel, Brie, Jess Huda, and anyone else who wants to do it.

( With Ciggerates and My 4 Closest Freinds I |Step Out On A Moonlit Roof.)

[26 Nov 2005|03:45pm]
[ mood | bored ]

Yesterday was the day I received my first acceptance letter! Yes everyone, I got into Coastal Carolina University!

(Step Out On A Moonlit Roof.)

"When life comes alive the past moves aside no regrets and no remorse we have more than everything." [08 Aug 2005|08:41pm]
[ mood | exhausted ]

Here's a quick update...

- Saturday Cronk had a farm party and it was a lot of fun.
- Sunday I went to a Mets game with Chris and his parents.
- It's my last week of work.

Stuff to look forward to:
- Dinner in NYC on Saturday (hopefully).
- Party Saturday night (hopefully).
- Brie's Sweet 16 on Sunday.
- Chris and My 6 months on Sunday.
- Band Camp (??) Monday-Saturday.
- The Jersey Shore -??-
- Mt. Creek -??-
- Seeing Jaleise -????-
- Chicago (?) -??-
- 311 Concert August 21st.
- Back to school in September.
- The Killers concert September 30th.
- I have four books to read ( Diary, Stranger Than Fiction, All He Ever Wanted, and The Lovely Bones).

Life is great and it's about to get a lot better. The end of summer will be great!

"Summer rolls on in the lazy hours,
An ether dream way,
Of hummingbirds and clouds,
Midnight swims in the cool back waves,
And you in my arms as it rolls away."



Love Always,
Justine

(Step Out On A Moonlit Roof.)

"I found a map to buried treasure and even if we come home empty handed well still have our stories" [04 Jul 2005|12:43pm]
[ mood | silly ]

My Summer Vacation so far has been great... so I posted pictures of course!
Let's create anthems of our own tonightCollapse )

( With Ciggerates and My 1 Closest Freind I |Step Out On A Moonlit Roof.)

[27 Jun 2005|05:25pm]
Justine: Penis@vagina.com
Chris: finger@vagina.com
Justine: Chris@Justinesbed.com
Chris: sex@hoboken.com

I love that boy!

Today was my first day of work. It was pretty boring....


.x. Justine .x.

PS: I am now legal to drive!

(Step Out On A Moonlit Roof.)

If the stars are out, all is well. And somewhere they are shining. [15 Jun 2005|04:49pm]
[ mood | blah ]

Ahh, the stress of finals is making me exhausted and they haven't even started yet.

Tomorrow is the first two finals, and they will be my hardest.
I am also getting my hair and nails done tomorrow, yay!
And Chris comes home for the weekend.

It's list time again...
- 7 days until my birthday.
- 8 days until summer vacation.
- 12 days until I start working.
- 14 days until senior pictures.
- 19 days until the 4th of July, not that that matters because its a Monday.
- 29 days until Chris and I reach 5 months.
- 186 days of school left of high school.
- 372 days until I graduate.

By the way, life is wonderful. I have a great boyfriend, an internship (which doesn't tax your check!!), a new car, lovely friends, a few days until my birthday and the end of school.

This summer is going to be so much fun, I can't wait!
I should be studying right now...

.x. Justine .x.

( With Ciggerates and My 1 Closest Freind I |Step Out On A Moonlit Roof.)

"We live our lives to expect the worst, but once it happens what is left?" [31 May 2005|05:41pm]
[ mood | tired ]

Alright, despite the fact that everything was/is going oh so well, today was pretty bad.


Friday was horrible, I had this culmination of stress and I got really upset and cried for awhile. This of course made Chris feel bad and in turn, made me feel even worse. I guess I should really try and learn to relax.

Saturday was beautiful. I had to go look at cars with my dad, which I dreaded for atleast a week because I assumed that we would just end up arguing and would barely look at cars. Suprisingly I convinced my dad that he should buy me a volkswagen and we looked at a Jetta. He really wanted to buy it, but I was disappointed with it. Finally, I convinced him to go to Trend Motors, which I had wanted to go to for a month or two, and we saw that the Jetta we were there to see was sold. For some reason we looked at the Golfs and that was when we fell in love with my car. After driving it my dad was pretty much set on buying it, even though it is a turbo and has more power than I need. So, to make a long story short, we bought the Golf and brought it home that day. Later that night I went to a party with Chris, but we were both pretty bored so we went to Blockbuster and rented PCU. It was such a relaxing night just lounging around and eating our Ben & Jerry's ice cream.

Sunday was the Memorial Day Parade and it wasn't too bad. I was going to march the tenors because we didn't have enough bass harnesses, but the scrubs were dropping like flies. Afterwards I went to Chris's house and he made dinner. It was amusing to watch him and his brothers trying to cook, his family is great. Then we went to my Aunt's house to eat ice cream cake. My mom let my brother, Chris, and me leave early. So I drove around with the boys for awhile because, well, I have a new car and I love it. Then Chris and I came back to my house and hung around for awhile.

Monday was so nice. Unfortunately, we left for Hoboken an hour later than we had planned but it was a great day. I ended up drinking 7 screwdrivers I think and talking for hours and hours. It was so wonderful to just relax with Chris and get to know each other even more. Around 10:40 I really wanted a sandwhich with lots of mayo, but Chris wasn't feeling very well. Despite the fact that I really am afraid to walk alone at night I went to Subway alone. It kind of worked out though because I save a $1.50 on my sub. Shortly after my adventure we went home.

Which brings us to today...
Today is Chris's birthday and he wasn't very happy about turning 20, I just didn't know how to console him. To make matters worse, he had to go back to school today and I really hate saying good-bye so I ended up feeling worse about the entire situation. Well, eventually I got over it and realized there was no use in dwelling on the fact that he left because I know it was inevitable. So I washed my car and was feeling pretty accomplished when Chris IMed me and told me that I have been upsetting him lately. I was pretty much in tears and just didn't know what to do, so I moped around for awhile and then I wrote him a letter. Luckily, Chris is quite understanding and now everything is all better.


I really want to hang out with a bunch of people and eat and swim. So if anyone wants to hang out, call me sometime!

I have nothing else to really write about, I just needed to get everything out.
.x. Justine .x.

(Step Out On A Moonlit Roof.)

"We're at the top of the world, you and I. We've got alot of time and it sure feels right." [31 May 2005|02:26pm]
[ mood | bored ]

Hey!

This weekend was awesome. I hung out with Chris so much, drank a few screwdrivers, marched in a parade, and my dad bought me a car. Things are wonderful right now. I think I'm going to have a get together at my house soon and everyone is invited to come and go swimming.

By the way, I went to Hoboken yesterday and got really hungry. I walked to Subway at like 10:40ish and saved $1.50 because I was alone. I thought everyone should know that.

Anyway...

Happy Birthday Chris!

My New Car PicturesCollapse )

(Step Out On A Moonlit Roof.)

"How I ever got to you, I have no idea, It's like some secret door, well, it just appeared." [24 May 2005|09:18pm]
[ mood | exhausted ]

Okay, it's been a very long while without an update.

Here goes it...

- Chris and I have been happily dating for 3 months, 1 week, and 3 days.
- I have an internship this summer doing Data Coordination.
- I am co-captain of the drumline next year.
- I got a 1700 on my SAT's, with a 590 in math (unfortunately I was trying for a 600).
- I'm in love and it feels so good.
- You should be jealous of my wonderful boyfriend.
- The NYC trip was okay, The Blue Man Group was simply amazing.
- My mom was awesome yesterday, she bought me two Take Five bars.
- My birthday is in less than a month.
- I'm going to celebrate this weekend. Wanna come?
- School is almost over.
- I'm going to have a car and license soon.
- People have been calling me out of the blue (hint, hint. I like that).
- I'm content, no I'm very happy.

height="300"

"So, no matter what I do from now on with my time, You will always stay here in my mind, I'm certain of this, and I'm not certain of anything."

Love Forever and Today,
.x. Justine .x.

( With Ciggerates and My 3 Closest Freinds I |Step Out On A Moonlit Roof.)

"She kills, with foreign films, the emptiness of day to day and I wait until the weekend comes." [03 May 2005|09:04pm]
[ mood | tired ]

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

Spring Break is over...


.x. Justine .x.

( With Ciggerates and My 4 Closest Freinds I |Step Out On A Moonlit Roof.)

" "I wanna go to a party," that's what she said, Lonely - that's what I been." [15 Apr 2005|03:48pm]
[ mood | crazy ]

I'm home alone and I love it!!!!
I can yell and scream and listen to really loud music!!


Last weekend was so cute/romantic. Chris and I helped my grandma, went to Fallsview/Dairyqueen, went to a park, walked both our dogs, went to Applebees, went wierd New Jerserying, and had cake for my mom's birthday.

This week I've been kind of loopy. It's a combination of stress and I don't crankiness....

I'm so glad it's Friday! I have to go to some jewelry party with my aunt and then I get to see Chris!!
Tomorrow I'm marching in the Little League Parade. Damn Marching Band, gotta love it.

height="300"
How cute is my dog??!!



"Beautiful disaster
Flyin' down the street again
I tried to keep up
You wore me out and left me ate up
Now I wish you all the luck
You're a butterfly in the wind without a care
A pretty train crash to me and I can't care
I do I don't whatever."



Love,
.x. Justine .x.

(Step Out On A Moonlit Roof.)

"Out on the dancefloor working up a sweat, your body's their amusement park. Now enter the night!" [07 Apr 2005|04:55pm]
[ mood | pleased ]

I feel so good GREAT! today because:


  1. I came to terms with a lot of things that have been plaguing me through out my life.

  2. I cryed.

  3. I understood 3 days of pre-calculus in about 2 minutes.

  4. I had an awesome turkey sandwhich with lettuce, tomato, and extra mayo.

  5. I ran around 4 miles, with my own motivation.

  6. I received a nice phone call from my lovely boyfriend.

  7. I have been planning for the future.

  8. I have no drama in my life!!

( With Ciggerates and My 1 Closest Freind I |Step Out On A Moonlit Roof.)

Planning/Thinking about the future. [06 Apr 2005|09:28pm]
[ mood | mellow ]

I'm making an attempt to update more, so bear with me.

Lately I've been sick and sleeping all day. I can barely eat, I hate it.

I'm talking to Jess right now about the upcoming/my final marching band season. I highly doubt I'll be captain of line, even though it will be my 5th year. I also do not know what I'll be playing. Even so, I know that this season will be about getting done what I have to and then having fun. I will avoid drama at all costs, and that means I may just go to practice, football games, and competitions and barely talk to anyone and then go home. I guess that's because I have finally rid myself of drama and realized how happy I can be. I plan to help out as much as possible, be mature, deal with anything and everything thrown at me, and be the best percussionist I can. I'm not sure how this season will be, but I think we'll be pretty good. It's a little wierd having Todd as an instructor because I have marched with him before, but I'll get over it. I realize that his teaching style is much different than past instructors, but it seemed that at the last practice something was right. I've never felt it before and I can't really describe it but something was def. there that hasn't been there before. Maybe it was unity, I felt more connected to the people I was playing with than I really have ever before... it was like the feeling you get at championships only not quite as intense. Anyway, this year is going to be my senior year so I want to help the underclassmen and provide them with what was once given to me. I want them to remember me in a good way and be able to say that I taught them something. Even if they don't learn how to be a better drummer, maybe they can learn something else. Next year I don't want to be the senior everyone hates, but I do want to make the most out of the year so I can have happy memories to leave with.
It seems everything around me is falling apart so this will probably be my main focus next to my academics. I hope to have a winning season and suprise everyone. I'm not sure how I will suprise them, but I hope I can make a long lasting and good final impression. I can't wait for next year, it's going to be one of the best years of my life.

I feel like I have come a very long way over the past three years. I'm shaping myself into the person that I want to become. I've matured so much this year alone and learned a great deal. Next year is going to be one of the final periods of becomming myself and if it follows the trend of this year, it will be great.

Anyway, I miss Chris a lot and want to thank him for keeping my head on straight the past few days.

It's getting late, so good night.
.x. Justine .x.

(Step Out On A Moonlit Roof.)

“I'll save my life for something good, oh yeah, for something good, oh yeah, for something good.” [04 Apr 2005|08:09pm]
[ mood | depressed ]

“We are still young but
we're trying so hard not to be.
Fake ID's and lies.
Let's grow up to be people we hate.
It's starting to burn hot and it's running out.
How could I forget your face?
How could I forget your grace?
We soared into the skies.
Call me obvious, call me untimely.
But I just hate the way things change.
Nothing is ever obvious to me.
I need an embrace to set me on a rampage.
I'd listen to anything but the lies in my head.
We all love God when things are right
but the fact of the matter is that they never are.”



“Try to displace the memories. Fade. Undone.
Put yourself back into the same place of just three years ago.”

I just came to one of the worst realizations.

Everyone around me is slowly killing themselves and I’m left to sit here and watch the world I once knew deteriorate. I’m holding onto something and I’m so afraid to let go, it’s the only thing keeping me from becoming like the rest of them.

My family hates each other. My brother barely goes to school, he sneaks out of the house, fights with my parents, drinks, and doesn’t have very good grades; yet is rewarded. I am trying so hard right now to keep my grades up, while still staying involved with band and friends. I drink occasionally, but you would too if you had to deal with the things I do and my mother constantly yells at me and makes me feel like everything I do is wrong. Other members of my not so immediate family are addicted to drugs and have a lot of drama in their lives. I don’t know how to help those people, and everyone else seems to just turn their head the other way.

Then there are my friends. Almost all of them do drugs and no longer care about school. Some of them do enough to get by while others are failing. No one has the grades to go to a good college and yet I sit here and try to work as hard as I can so I can go away to a good school. Am I crazy? They backstab, lie, ditch each other, and talk so much shit behind each other’s backs. I’m so sick of seeing my intelligent friends fuck up their lives because drugs are more fun or because they can’t deal with ‘high school’ drama. High school is about the let downs, everyone goes through them… why don’t they have to deal with it? Are they better than everyone else? Fuck apathy, it’s so overrated.

Oh and, let me tell you about the guys who like me now (Chris is not included!). They stalk. I’m wonderful to call when they’re horny or when they’ve been shot down. Sometimes, like once in a blue moon, someone will wonder how I am. But, the funny thing is that they all ‘love’ me… when it’s conveient for them. I’m sick of them trying to play me, I don’t need it. I know I’m better than that, and for any of them that may read this: there are other things than sex!

I don’t know what to do anymore. I’ve tried talking to my friends about their lives, I’ve tried talking to my family. I’m screaming and no one is listening. It’s been months since things have really taken a bad turn, but I seem to be coping well with it. I wish that every thing would just get better. I really hope that my friends and family turn around and better themselves.

However, I feel that this may bring me closer to my father… we’re the only ones who can make a difference in my life right now. I wish we could get along better, especially since time is running out. He doesn’t know it, but he’s giving me the slightest hope right now which is keeping me going.

Also, I wish I could express to Chris how thankful I am towards him. He has been here for me with advice and kind words. I love you.

“She said, "It looks as if you have lost your best friend."
I tell her that I have definitely lost something.
I can taste the failure on my lips.
You know I would love to just go back.
'Cause I can feel the world biting at my heels.
She is selling herself short and this costs all she has.
Paying for all the smiles and forcing back
the tears at the questions asked.
There are just too many romances that
expire at the stroke of midnight.

Stare straight at the wall until the tears come.
There is just something about the night. It gets me everytime.
Is it already to late to dream? They move on. I stand still.
There is something about the night. That gets me everytime.
To highlight your dreams is to give in to a false reality.
I gave up, I gave in. The joke is always on me.
Love gone bad with age...
These are the signs of the times.
Stare straight at the wall until the tears come.
There is just something about the night. It gets me everytime.
Is it already to late to dream? They move on. I stand still.
There is something about the night. That gets me everytime.
I know you would give everything if you could.
But sometimes it is just not enough to be told the words,
"Everything will be okay."
Can I just break down and fall into your arms?”

I kind of feel like that….

“Paradise for the lost.
Paradise for the fallen.
Not a paradise at all.
Drink away the hurt and
push it further away.”

“You gotta pull stars down to be someone,”
.x. Justine .x.


“Looking back a lot has changed. We never thought there'd come a day when everything we used to live for, everything we did, and everything we say could fade away. Now we're left holding onto dreams. Small town kids, we're gonna get there. Now it's time, I see those city lights. I think it's time to go and we'll come back home when we hit the big time, and we'll come back someday.”

( With Ciggerates and My 2 Closest Freinds I |Step Out On A Moonlit Roof.)

"Rather waste some time with you and you never would have thought in the end how amazing it feels." [04 Apr 2005|05:53pm]
[ mood | loved ]

Cute Pictures... I like them atleast.Collapse )

( With Ciggerates and My 1 Closest Freind I |Step Out On A Moonlit Roof.)

“Every sky still looks the same and I wonder how my world would look without you.” [04 Apr 2005|03:31pm]
[ mood | bored ]

Hello everyone!

It’s been over two weeks since I have actually updated, so here’s a quick recap.

Last week was extremely hectic; I had three papers, a lot of chemistry and pre-calculus homework, and various other projects. There was also a band recruitment night, which was actually a practice. So all in all I was kept very busy. The good thing is I didn’t have very much time to think so I didn’t miss Chris as much I as will this week.

On Friday Chris came home and we went on a double date with DeQuattro and Kim to Hooters. It was a lot of fun. On Saturday we went to Hoboken and did our thing. Then we went out to dinner with some of Chris’s friends and took a long nap. Other than Room Mate Chris almost/kind of walking in on us it was a great day.

It was rainy and miserable on Sunday so Chris and I hung out at his house and watched TV while cuddling. I also ate dinner over his house and I met his great aunt and saw pictures of him growing up. His family is so cute, I wish they’d adopt me. Later that night we confessed our true feelings for one another. I almost cried when I had to say good-bye to him for the week. We’re so adorable sometimes.

Speaking of good-byes, every week it gets harder and harder to say. Every week is longer and longer and I miss Chris more and more, but every weekend is better and better but shorter and shorter. We spend all of Friday night, Saturday, and Sunday together but it goes so quickly. I can’t wait until his summer semester begins, that will give us an extra day.

Chris and I should be couple of the year, that’s how cute we are.

Anyway, today there was no school because half of Pompton is under water. I wish I had something to do, but of course I don’t.

“Love is a bond without reason
A cry for connection
A light in your eyes
Love is a reason for living, a reason for trying, a reason for life
Forget the feeling
Get all your of reasons
Life is love or the lack there of
Love is a bond without reason
A cry for connection
A light in your eyes
Love is a reason for living, a reason for trying, a reason to cry
Love is a bond without reason
A cry for connection
A light in your eye
Love is a reason for living, a reason for dieing,
Love is everything
Love is everything
Love is everything
How are you feeling?
Love is everything
What are your reasons?
Love is everything
How are you feeling?
Love is everything
Love is everything
Love is everything
Love is everything
Ohh love, you move me
Ohh love, you move me
Love, move in me, move me
Love means everything.”


Love Forever and Today,
.x. Justine .x.

(Step Out On A Moonlit Roof.)

Feeding The Industry: Yet Another Emo Song [25 Mar 2005|12:54pm]
[ mood | anxious ]

_____Girlfriend, boyfriend; in time enemies. He says, “Every sad song was written about a girl like you,” and she becomes only lyrics lost inside his notebook. The girl never belonged; her heart was always somewhere else. Follow the leader, hold up the fight; this is no game of hide and seek, its ring around the rosie and he falls down.
_____She showed him the world from the bright, blue skies she kept locked in her eyes to the fiery hell that burned in her heart. The boy gave her his soul and now he sits in a lonely basement trading blood for liqueur, trying to drown her out.
_____And when she’s sad, the girl comes back to destroy what’s left of a beautiful thing. She says, “I lost my inspiration when I left.” Capture her prey and go in for the kill.

(Step Out On A Moonlit Roof.)

"We trade liquor for blood in an attempt to tip the scales." [17 Mar 2005|08:15pm]
[ mood | exhausted ]

Hey everyone! Happy St. Patrick's Day!

It’s been about a week since I’ve updated again.

I have a question for all of you lovely people out there in LiveJournal Land. Okay, here is the situation: You have a friend and become attracted to them because of their personality, the things they do, and maybe their appearance. Eventually you start to date this person and it’s great for awhile, but then everything gets messed up and there is a horrible outcome. Soon enough, you and this person attempt to become friends, but now atleast one person will have more-than-friend feelings at any given time so it fails miserably. You both come to an agreement, whether it is known or assumed, to move on from each other. You date others and when you ask your “friend” about their new relationships and tell them about yours someone is bound to become jealous, but nevertheless, you talk and ask these personal questions that slowly kill one of you. Eventually problems escalate and it is close to impossible to have a conversation for more than 2 minutes without fighting and having someone rip the other person’s head off. For some reason you love and care about this person in the end though. There was something in the beginning and through all that has happened you still care about the person and love them, even if it is in a different way. Am I right or badly mistaken? Also, is it so wrong to want/need to know how the other person is doing, I mean you did/do care for them and shared quite a bit at one point? My solution to this is that the two people should call every so often, maybe every month or few weeks, and merely ask basic questions like: “How are you?” “What’s new?” “Is everything going well?” In short, keep the conversation quick, mostly honest, and hopefully pleasant. Is that so hard of a concept? Maybe it would result in a friendship, obviously modified from the beginning. As a friend/ex-girlfriend I want to know how the ones I love and care about are doing, even if I can no longer stand them because they were/are important parts of my life and have made me who I am today. Is my solution wrong? Is it completely asinine? I just want to know if I really am crazy for holding on and caring.

On a better note… My current relationship with Chris is absolutely wonderful, I would even go as far as to say that it is amazing. The awkwardness is completely gone and there is a strange yet comforting closeness that we now share. I can talk to Chris about anything; I can act intelligent or I can be childish and goofy. We are very similar, almost one-in-the-same. This is a fun, but in ways, mature relationship. We are intimate yet romantic, smart yet childish, alone a lot yet quite social, and we’re very open with one another. I love that Chris listens, he does nice/cute/romantic things for me, he compliments me, he helps me with my homework, and he’s open with me. Okay, and I know you are all so entertained by this and you will really care about this, but… last weekend we spent all of Saturday and Sunday together. We goofed around on Saturday and he put up with my drunken antics, which is a task that receives… something, maybe a pat on the back. On Sunday we were alone for awhile, we took a romantic bubble bath then drove to Belleville on the most gorgeous day. Then he made dinner with his brothers, which was adorable in its own right. Afterwards, we lounged around and goofed off together. It was so relaxing yet romantic, it makes me so happy. I hope this lasts for a very long time.

Okay, enough about that because I’m sure you all care so much. This next thing is dedicated to a very special friend, Cody… Hunny, you need some time to yourself. You are a great person; a great friend and I’m sure a great boyfriend. You are full of potential, you’d be surprised what you could do if you just tried. Remember, “time makes feelings fade."



“And it's all in how you mix the two
and it starts just where the light exists
it's a feeling that you cannot miss
and it burns a hole through everyone that feels it

well you're never gonna find it
if you're looking for it
won't come your way
well you'll never find it
if you're looking for it

should've done something but I've done it enough
by the way your hands were shaking
rather waste some time with you

and you never would have thought in the end
how amazing it feels just to live again
it's a feeling that you cannot miss
it burns a hole through everyone that feels it

well you're never gonna find it
if you're looking for it
won't come your way
well you'll never find it
if you're looking for it.”




"Let's sleep till the sun burns out
I'm melting in your eyes (I'm melting in your eyes)
Let's leave till the sun burns out
I'm melting in your eyes"


.x. Justine .x.

(Step Out On A Moonlit Roof.)

"You're no one 'till someone loves you, forced expectation serves as the glue for someone." [10 Mar 2005|03:31pm]
[ mood | peaceful ]

Okay, it's been about a week since I've update. I've been meaning to, but I've been very busy with hw and all the other stupid things juniors in high school are faced with.

On Friday we made gross jello shots and then Fascist Mike, Chris, and I slept over Sara's. It was a lot of fun, and nice to wake up next to someone I care very much about.

On Saturday I went to Hoboken with Chris. It all went down. : ) Then we went to Falls View and to visit Cronk.

Sunday Chris and I hung out around my house.

This week consisted of going to school, coming home, doing hw, going to bed.

I have no school tommorow!!! Chris is coming home tomorrow!
Cody and I may hang out today...

.x. Justine .x.

( With Ciggerates and My 2 Closest Freinds I |Step Out On A Moonlit Roof.)

"Forfeit all of your integrity for a temporary high lay it all out for the world to see Manufacture" [03 Mar 2005|05:43pm]
[ mood | busy ]

"Hey! Shut up! Hey! Shut up!"

-Here you are Confucious.-


Today is day two of HSPA's. They are a standardized test that all juniors have to take to pass high school, and they are boring and mindless. The good news is that we have completed all of the language arts/literacy sections and there shall be no more large writing sections. Math and science have never sounded so good to me before.

In other news, I've been an extremely busy person this week. Sorry if I haven't talked to certain people as much, or gotten back to them (you know who you are).

On Tuesday I slept in and when I got out of the shower my phone rang for awhile until I finally answered the third call. There was a prom committee meeting, we were to drive around and look at different places. That was somewhat fun while it lasted. When I returned home 4 hours later, CTWP wanted to have a meeting so I was off to the shiney diner. I took some nice black and white photos there, which I will post later on in this entry. Afterwards Cindy, Cody, and I got lost near Jockey Hollow for fun and then proceeded to visit Chris and Joe. That adventure made me realize how much more mature I am becomming and how old I'm getting. It's kind of sad, but what can I do?

Wednesday after school we had another CTWP meeting, our most productive one yet. We are in the process of booking a show. After that I just hung out around Cindy's until 7:30. Then I came home, watched CSI, did some HW, and talked to Confucious for almost 3 hours on the phone.

Today I drove my mom around. We went to Office Max to order customized stationary and business cards for my Dad's new business, Direct Financial Solutions. We bought all sorts of other fun stuff for the office and I made my mom charge skittles on the company credit card because I thought it would be funny. Later I may drive up to Mt. Creek and hopefully be able to maybe take some pictures. </font>

"She said she loved me, but she had somewhere to go
She couldn't scream while I held her close."

.x. Justine .x.

( With Ciggerates and My 4 Closest Freinds I |Step Out On A Moonlit Roof.)

"Inpredicting the weather and how things ought to be send your rain and relieve me from this [pain]" [28 Feb 2005|07:09pm]
[ mood | hyper ]

Good Evening.

"I miss the chairs at the coffee shop
doing nothing for five minutes and talking for hours.
Conversation never ran dry.
We all have our simple ways of killing our thoughts
and this is yours and I have mine."


Today was so pointless. Most of the schools in the area had early dismissals except PLHS, so no one wanted to be there all day.

I think I failed my chemistry test, which upsets me to a point. To make matters worse that was the only important task I had today. I'm so lazy when I really can't afford to be.

Health was extremely boring, we watched a video about how dangerous tanning is, enough said.

In advanced photo Ken, Nikki, Fat Schall, DeQuattro, Bill, and I hung out and made fun of people. We moved all the chairs around and some people were a bit destructive.

In sociology we watched Bowling For Columbine. It was especially terrible because I hate violence and Mike Moore.

In Pre-calc I learned about derivitives...

Lunch.

History was spent chatting mostly.

English I passed notes with Candice.

German seems to be a blur...


I bonded with people I don't usually talk to today, so in that aspect it was a good/interesting day and I enjoyed myself. I also saw Ethel for the first time since Christmas Break. She seems like she's having a blast being a senior and I wish I could have stayed at her snow party longer, but it was fun while it lasted.

Now it's time for some CSI.... <33



"Your smile is the only thing that keeps me breathing.
The hours pass by like minutes when I'm with you.
The hours pass like minutes in the rain.
So lets stand here in the rain forever."


Love Forver and Today,
.x. Justine .x.

PS: I'm hoping for a snow day.

( With Ciggerates and My 3 Closest Freinds I |Step Out On A Moonlit Roof.)

"So perfect you paint it, yet so manipulated. So calm and so patient, yet oh so calculated. So safe" [27 Feb 2005|09:32pm]
[ mood | cheerful ]

Good Evening My Lovely LiveJournal Friends!

"Dreams aren't what they used to be
Some things slide by so carelessly

Smile like you mean it."

This weekend was very close to amazing.

"We bring the bump to the grind, uh huh
I don't mind, we're on top
It's just a shimmy and a shack, uh huh
I can't fake, we're on top
We're on top!"


Here is the recap:

Friday:
- Coogan came home and I went to his house for awhile.
- We soon went to visit my left-hip Sara.
- Mike, Fascist Mike, Gleb, and Cody were there.
- A lot of people drank, but I didn't. : )
- We made up our 16 Step Program which I should post sometime.
- Sara and I did Cody and Chris's hair.
- We all goofed around and had a lot of fun.

Saturday:
- I woke up at 9AM.
- Got ready and went to Hoboken with Chris at 10AM.
- Picked up Sara on the way.
- Sara and I hung out in Chris's dorm while he went to his frat meeting.
- Then we met up with Chris and company at 1ish and went to a liquer store.
- Went back to Steven's and dropped everything off.
- Chris and I drove Sara to Union City.
- Then we went back to Steven's and started drinking screw drivers.
- Chris's friend Alex came and visited around 5, followed by Roommate Chris and Jimmy Nice Guy.
- Jimmy Nice Guy left and Alex and I ordered some really good Chinese Food.
- Then Alex left.
- Chris and I had a tickling match.
- Around 11:30PM we came back home.

Today:
- Woke up late.
- Ate Mac & Cheese.
- Went to the office with my mom.
- Ate dinner with the Coogan's.
- Watched TV with Chris.
- Came home and did HW.
- Now I'm updating for all of you wonderful people.

"It's like a cigarette in the mouth
Or a handshake in the doorway
I look at you and smile because I'm fine!"


Look! I've posted pictures!Collapse )

(Step Out On A Moonlit Roof.)

"She kills, with foreign films, the emptiness of day to day and I wait until the weekend comes." [24 Feb 2005|11:15pm]
[ mood | sore ]

Hey, it's been awhile, but I'm back to update.

Last weekend was a lot of fun. I hung out with Sara and Coogan quite a bit. On Friday there were a bunch of people at Sara's and I was a bit uncomfortbale, but it was only one night. Saturday was kind of dull. The three of us hung out with fascist Mike and watched movies. I was the desginated driver though and I drove to Ramapo. That was fun. Sunday Coogan and I watched Fight Club and we went to Friendly's for ice cream at 12ish. Monday we went to Sara's psych class. Tuesday I took pictures and went to Union City.

Yesterday I didn't go to school because I have a sty and it hurt. Today was a horrible day. I felt so tired all day and everyone was in a bad mood.

Best Parts About Today:
- I watched 3 CSIs.
- I ate Penne with Vodka Sauce.
- Someone randomly Imed me.
- I'm hoping for no school tommorow.

I hope I can see a bunch of people this weekend and have a lot of fun without the drama... I wanna have a sleepover so I don't have to fall asleep or wake up alone.

Cheer up everyone!
.x. Justine .x.

PS: wear your pajamas inside out and hope for no school!

( With Ciggerates and My 3 Closest Freinds I |Step Out On A Moonlit Roof.)

"The army of words in me silent the soldier weeps lying here back to back waiting for you to react." [15 Feb 2005|09:27pm]
[ mood | tired ]

Happy Belated Valentine's Day!


"I haven't been this scared in a long time,
and I'm so unprepared so here's your valentine,
bouquet of clumsy words, a simple melody,
this world's an ugly place, but you're so beautiful to me."


"Hello there, the angel from my nightmare,
the shadow in the background of the morgue,
the unsuspecting victim of darkness in the valley."


I was sick again yesterday, but it was a wonderful day for me emotionally!

Coogan asked me out, which was so cute. On a Hallmark holiday!
That made a few people jealous and made me feel even more loved.

I went to school today and it was so boring. I also went to school with Sara (my wife) and I met a lot of new people. I had a good amount of fun.
We ate BK for dinner, unfortunately it wasn't pasta (I think I'm having withdrawls) but whatever.


Coogan and Shaun are coming home this weekend. I wanna hang out with them, and I wanna see Brie. Brie come visit me! It should be a good weekend. : )

"All that I ask is that one,
One day you'll look back and think of me now,
Maybe valentine's day."


Anyway, it's time for me to do some homework.

"The last star left in heaven
is falling down to earth ,"

.x. Justine .x.

( With Ciggerates and My 1 Closest Freind I |Step Out On A Moonlit Roof.)

"Hopeful dreaming of times before the pain, wishing it was still the same. Loving, leaving." [13 Feb 2005|03:46pm]
[ mood | sick ]

"Better say hello, don't you dare say goodbye."

It's Sunday, that means the weekend is almost over. I wish it was Friday, I love having time to relax. Next weekend I might go to Philly to look at USP. I think I really wanna go there, it sounds like a good school for me but I need to visit.

Anyway, last night I went to Applebees and had the best apple pie. I hung out with Sara and Coogan too! I love them, they're so much fun. Sara kept spilling important stuff though, but we'll let it go... for now.

I don't feel well today and I have a lot of homework....

Anyway, here is a picture that I think is kind of funny.



Sara did that to my head, but it was so amusing.

"(All the heartbreak all the pain)

Forever and today
(All your words you said in vain)
Forever and today
(And I'll never be the same)
P.S. I love you, forever and today."

.x. Justine .x.

(Step Out On A Moonlit Roof.)

“Looked for you downtown wound up in a movie with no story now it’s late and you are nowhere." [12 Feb 2005|02:06pm]
[ mood | bored ]

“We used to leave the blue lights on and there was a beat.”


Yesterday was fun! I hung out with Sara, my love/wife. Nathan came over and brought us a very big present, which we like quite a bit. Then we played a really lame version of Kings and he left because we were just too much for him.

Coogan came over and there was a lot of tickling. Why I was the victim, I don’t know. The three of us had a ball together. We blew bubbles and took a bunch of pictures.

Then Sara’s three friends came over and we all went to the PQ Diner. I took some pictures for my photo project and ate disco fries.

I then went home. It seems a bit uneventful, but it was fun and relaxing (kind of).


“Somebody put me back in school I forget everything I used to know. How to leave the boy behind without having to watch him go. Oh, infidel to die for what I am doing will happen in the morning when the mirror won't recognize me.”


I’m feeling better lately, I can finally sleep again. ___ and I are no longer on bad terms I think, I don’t really know or care. I’m just going to let things happen from now on.


“No one here wants to fight me like you do. Combat baby, come back baby, fight off the lethargy. Don’t go quietly, combat baby said you would never give up easy. Combat baby come back.”

“How I miss your ranting, do you miss my all time lows?”
.x. Justine .x.

( With Ciggerates and My 1 Closest Freind I |Step Out On A Moonlit Roof.)

"But in spite of that, we're gonna die like this you know, all miserable and old." [09 Feb 2005|01:43am]
[ mood | pissed off ]

Tonight is the third night that I haven't been able to sleep because of my ever so burdening emotions. However, I will actually record and hopefully figure something out with all my thoughts now.

By the way, I think it's the extremely emotional week before I start PMSing.






"Hey romantica.

So removed…
Comfortably confused
Who you gonna call tonight?”


People don't change overnight, I know you still care. You'll either care for awhile, or you've been putting on a façade. It appears to me that the ladder is false, but “there’s no art to find the mind’s construction in the face.” Say you won’t care, tell me you hate me, hang up the phone, lie to me like you fucking mean it! It won’t change a god-damned thing. Eventually it may, but it will never be instanteous. Just build it up, push me away; but why are you doing it? Do you even know?
Let’s end it again. There’s always going to be loose ends, we both know that. No matter what, we’ll still care/think/know in our hearts that we’re friends. This just makes us stronger. We could destroy each other, or we could help one another grow. Do you really want to throw it all away?

“Are you ashamed to say what you want to?
Well, are you?
Tell me you want to.
Say it.
Go on.
Just say it.
I hold my tongue
Use it to assess
The damage from way back when it mattered
Feel around.
Get cozy.
Go crazy.
Get comfortable.
We’re just protecting ourselves
So forfeit yourself.
Give me up. Give me up.
And make something more to your liking.”


“This won’t mean a thing tomorrow
and that’s exactly how I’ll make it seem.”

.x. Justine .x.

( With Ciggerates and My 1 Closest Freind I |Step Out On A Moonlit Roof.)

"So quench me and feel free to breathe in what I breathe out, just don't leave." [06 Feb 2005|11:23pm]
[ mood | enraged ]

"So through this you will go,

and read through all alone."


I'm feeling a bit distraught right now.

This week seemed to be good but little things kept going wrong and by the end of the day I would be in such a dreadful mood that I didn't want to do anything but eat pasta and sleep. I thought all of that changed on Friday, but apparently my bad luck was on a hiatus. Well everyone, it's back again. Today was nice, sure, but it's the little things that have added up and are making me so angry.

"With every breath, one last chance, Assume there will be a thousand more I will ignore, just letting them lead. Cause everytime you and I will fight it's like an airplane's taking off and the pilot's me with no steering wheel."


To a certain someone, you should know who you are.
- Today you pissed me off when you asked me to go out tonight knowing that I have school tommorow.
- When over reacted and yelled at me because someone walked towards me.
- When you upset me about not seeing me.
- You let me eat ice cream at 9PM!
- How you ended a nice little conversation and wouldn't talk to me for the rest of the night.
- How you hung up on me for no reason.
- How you refused to tell me why you wouldn't talk to me!
- And how you did all of this knowing that I was already upset and had a rough day.
You disgust me. I am so furious with you right now. You better think about this and atleast apologize!
Until then I don't think I want to talk to you, let alone see you for probably the last time for a few months. I hope you miss me, but realize it too late. I hope you hurt. Am I being too harsh? Well, I'm hurting because of what you did to me today.

"It's come to this I swear this time my heart won't miss. I've clinched these fists for far too long. A broken house with gates made from broken promises, but nobody's home so here I sit. It's the light that wakes me, but the time that breaks me down like water drops, why won't this stop dripping on my halo these angel wings of mine they haven't seen the light in weeks let alone fly. It's the light that wakes me, but the time that breaks me down like water drops, why won't this stop it's got me down and who's gonna save me from falling to the ground?
You might as well finish me, grab with both hands and rip out these wings now watch me fall."


A bunch of other things went wrong today too. It was a pretty shitty day now that I'm in this mindset.
I guess we're no longer on good terms.

"I need more time she says, because time makes feelings fade."
.x. Justine .x.

PS: Forget about getting any letters.

"Words I keep in here, thoughts that make me scared always seem to show. Your eyes let me know you know. It's not you, it's all me. As if me taking all the blame would make you feel much better now. But all lights burn out. What i'd like to say is that staying friends is okay, but you and me we know that in one heart love would grow. Same time tomorrow when i wake up will the violins be playing when my heart finally opens? Will you be there to embrace me because it's all so crazy now? It's all so fucked up now. I always thought that I would find what I lack in you."


...Apologies won't easily ease heartache...

( With Ciggerates and My 1 Closest Freind I |Step Out On A Moonlit Roof.)

"Nothing is real. Love, there's nothing more I want than just one night thats free of doubt and sad" [06 Feb 2005|10:24pm]
[ mood | thoughtful ]

“True beautiful one,

what have you gone and done?”


“Where do you live?
Love is a place
Where are you from?
She says, ask yourself ask anyone
What's holding up her face
Nothing but blue skies
Passage ways the mind's eye
Contemplates.”


This weekend was much needed, it was a nice break from the somewhat stressful/boring week.


On Friday Goooombaa was really nice to me. He actually has been nice almost the entire weekend. Anyway, we chilled together at Sara’s and then I went to his house. It was fun/funny. He showed me a folder of things I wrote and it made me cry. It wasn’t a sad cry, but it wasn’t because I was happy either. I’m not quite sure if we still feel almost the same way we did last year this time, but I know we went through so much together. It seems we have gone through more together in a year and a half than most people go through in their lives and therefore we can’t let go. I don’t want to let go, Goooombaa is someone I want in my life for a very long time. I felt so many emotions on Friday and they were all positive, but it was a bit emotionally straining. There were some new memories made.

On Saturday Goooombaa called and woke me up. We had a long, deep conversation about the future. This subject keeps coming up in conversation and for the first time we’re talking about it and not pushing it away. It’s like we’re letting go and letting things come and go and be natural. It’s quite relaxing. I hope we can stay on good terms from now on and accept our feelings for each other. Anyway, I went for a walk with Magic because the weather was so nice and then I later went to Sara’s house and we sat around talking and playing DDR. She’s like my left-hip, we are always together… we talk about a lot together, we think a lot alike, we make dinner together, and like Dan says “You and Sara are always bored, and when you’re together you’re always bored, but add a guy in there and you two have a great time.” She’s like my best friend now, it’s really nice to have a friend that’s a girl and has the same issues and drama. Unfortunately, having the same problems hasn’t helped because we haven’t thought of a solution that will work to anything, but it’s nice to be able to talk about things and have someone understand. Again back to what I did this weekend, Nogga came and picked us up and then we all picked up Goooombaa and went to Laura’s for a get together. I didn’t know any of her friends, but Sara and I made a new friend! His name is Justin, he is such a sweetheart. We’re going to go shopping with him one and he will make us look sexy. The party was a little dull, but I had some fun and it was nice to spend time with Sara and Goooombaa.

Today I made myself a pizza because I’ve been craving one for awhile. Then Sara picked me up and we chilled for awhile until Dave came over. We were going to play tennis but the courts were closed so we went to the mall to meet up with Mike. After some shopping the four of us went back to Sara’s and we watched The Believer. I didn’t like it all, I don’t really like movies about neo-nazis. Today was a lazy day kind of.

This weekend has been so beautiful. It was warm and really sunny out. I can’t for this summer, it’s going to be so much fun.

I don’t want to go to school tomorrow, I want it to get really hot and then I could go to the beach or something ridiculous like that.

I’m running out of things to write so Good-Night.

“Tell me what you wanted to hear
Let me do the right thing
Let me do the wrong thing
And if it's ever this clear
I will only say it once
Just let me turn the amps way up
So you can hear nothing.”


“The lips on you were plain
The better to a kiss sustain,”


.x. Justine .x.

( With Ciggerates and My 1 Closest Freind I |Step Out On A Moonlit Roof.)

"And the good girls are home with broken hearts and I'm free I'm free fallin'." [29 Jan 2005|11:37am]
[ mood | bored ]

Midterms are over and I'm glad. I don't think I did as well as I should have, but whatever.

This week has been very trying, emotionally. Stupid boys and thier head games. Why can't they just leave my heart alone? I really want a close guy friend to cuddle/make-out with, but what do I get? I get some asshole who can't make up his mind and has to hurt almost every girl in his path. I hope you realize what you're missing out on soon.

Anyway, I've been so bored with everything lately. It's always the same thing over and over again. I need a CHANGE! Yesterday I hung out with Cody and Cindy, we went out to lunch and it was a lot of fun. There were a bunch of kids from PLHS, I wonder why. Afterwards Cody came over and we chilled, it was boring because we didn't actually do anything. Around 7ish we went to Sara's and it wasn't exactly the best place to be. However, Laura was there and she's so bubbly that it was nice to see her. It's very different from everyone elses' depressing/shy personalities (no offense to anyone because I too fit in that category).

Nathan wants to hang out with me tonight. He's a really nice guy and has tons of useless/interesting knowledge, but he's so touchy-feely. I really do love his friendship and I value it very much, but I don't like hanging out with him. I can't figure it out because there was a time when I couldn't get enough of him. I guess I've just grown up.

I really feel the need to go shopping at Hollister today. That would def. cheer me up, so if you also want to go to GSP let me know. We could have a lot of fun and be goofy and spend lots of money!

In other news, I miss Coogan. He's been back at school for awhile now and he should come home. He wanted to come back today, but his family is sick. It would be really cool if I could go visit him, but I doubt that will happen because he's in Hoboken.

My thoughts are all over the place, but I'm kind of a mess. Well, not so much a mess, but more of scattered. I'm spreading myself all over the place.

Even when I'm asleep I can't get away from the ridiculous, the dramatic, or the chaotic. My dreams have been very strange lately. I have 2-4 each night, all dealing with very different areas of my life. But all of my dreams have boys in them. One is the person I'm hung up on, one is a past crush, and the other is a mystery man who I've only seen his hands in my dreams. He really makes me happy though, he should exist in my real life.

I miss running so I think I'm going to start running again on Monday. Then I'll have less time to think and my mind will be clearer. I hope Mr. Patrick isn't pissed because my leg is still bothering me, but I need something to do and I need the feeling of getting into shape and being fit.

My life is so entertaining lately, I can't wait until the warmer weather. I think it's the winter that brings me down.

I do have good news, next semester (TUESDAY!) I will start taking sociology. That will be a nice switch from my foods class, so hopefully that will make me happy for awhile.

Now it's time to go find something to entertain me.

Hey, long lost friends! Let's hang out!

"Like it's where you want to be,"
.x. Justine .x.

( With Ciggerates and My 2 Closest Freinds I |Step Out On A Moonlit Roof.)

"Hey romantica. So removed… comfortably confused, who you gonna call tonight?" [24 Jan 2005|05:19pm]
[ mood | hungry ]

My life in a nutshell:

[


  • I go to school everyday.

  • Foods is by far the best class.

  • Then I would run track.

  • I hurt my leg and can't run for awhile.

  • Now I come home and watch TV/do HW.

  • I eat dinner, which always includes some type of pasta.

  • I watch CSI.

  • I talk on the phone from 9-1:30ish.

  • I sleep.



  • Repeat.


Fridays:

  • I hang out at Sara's with people.

  • We usually drink.

  • We always watch atleast one movie.


Saturdays:

  • I wake up.

  • Eat breakfast.

  • Shower.

  • Sit around.

  • Go to Sara's.



Sundays:

  • I sleep late.

  • Sit around.

  • Do HW.

  • Talk on the phone.




  • There's a lot of drama lately.

  • It snows too much.


]



Sara and I are hanging out tonight. Suprised? I didn't think so. It's okay, we have more fun than you'd know what to do with. We're so goofy, you wouldn't even recognize us.

Today Frankel and I came up with a very good idea. So if you want/need someone to write a paper for you, we'll do it if you pay us. Speaking of such, I told my mom I was going to write papers for money and she kept telling me it was a bad idea, but then she told me she would pay me to write papers for my stupid, little, frosh brother. What a nutcase.

Anyway...


I feel like I'm living a Taking Back Sunday album. It's not so bad, I accept it.

"Just to upset you more
Just to make you angry
Just because you were right
Just because you were
All tired said
Scream safe haven.
Scream.
“Let’s get this out and on the table.”
Fast forward to…"


"This won’t mean a thing tomorrow
and that’s exactly how I’ll make it seem. "
.x. Justine .x.


"It’s never bad enough just to leave or give up,
But it’s never good enough to feel right."

(Step Out On A Moonlit Roof.)

A Labeled Distraction For Not Any Lady and Gentleman. [22 Jan 2005|10:59pm]
[ mood | discontent ]

Hey Lover, turn off the lights. We’ll hide out here on this cold bathroom floor. It always starts with some simple conversation until mouths are closed and pressed against each other. You’re hands are all over my body and up, under my shirt. Squeeze me as hard as you can, let’s not think about how wrong this is. Well it’s all said and done, turn on the lights. Wash your hands as I fix my hair. Walk out separately; pick a different side of the room to occupy. We can pretend this never happened, tomorrow we can keep denying it. Secretly call me later so we can destroy ourselves. Why do we keep hurting? Let’s just be happy and keep forgetting. Let’s just pretend it’s all okay.

( With Ciggerates and My 3 Closest Freinds I |Step Out On A Moonlit Roof.)

"Oh, New Jersey is where I'm from when I try to find my place of home. Don't you leave." [06 Jan 2005|04:51pm]
[ mood | bored ]



Hello Stranger, MySpace

It's been a trying week, and I am trying to be in a better mood.

"Another day I wait in silence, wondering where I should go from here. There's something, I can't deny this, I know exactly what I feel. And I know it's you and you feel it too. And I know you're there, so close yet far away. And I know you're there, so close beside me. Anything I could do, I would do it all for you. Give me a chance and I would prove my love. "



"Where are you going, I'm not leaving."
.x. Justine .x.

( With Ciggerates and My 2 Closest Freinds I |Step Out On A Moonlit Roof.)

"Bubblegum bought Martini is nothing like debonair red wine. Travel through time." [01 Jan 2005|02:04pm]
[ mood | energetic ]

Happy New Year Darlings!

Who wants to keep partying tonight?
Let me know.

Cham-pag-ne for everyone!


Let's do it up right this year!
.x. Justine .x.

( With Ciggerates and My 2 Closest Freinds I |Step Out On A Moonlit Roof.)

"It turned out to only be a dream, I made a point to burn all of the photographs." [31 Dec 2004|01:48pm]
[ mood | cheerful ]

This entry is going to be a speicial one because it will most likely be the last entry of 2004!
What can I say, this year was okay but I hope 2005 is much better.

I'm not going to make a list of all the great memories I had because I'm focusing on the present.


This week I have been quite the social butterfly.

Monday:
- Jaleise left and I sat around for a bit.
- Coogan and I went to Falls View for hot dogs.
- Coogan and I ventured to Cindy's house.
-- Angelo, Gabs, Ian, Alex, Aly, Timmy, Jen, Ryan, The kid who hangs out with Ryan, John B., and some girl were there.
-- There was a lot of vodka, but I didn't get drunk.
-- Cindy made prank calls, to like 30 people. That was really funny.

Tuesday:
- I slept in.
- I drove around with DeQuattro.
-- We got a slurpee from 7-11.
-- We visited Mr. Dennison since Graham was busy clunk-clunking around.
-- We visited Kim and all her friends.
- I met up with Coogan.
- We went to a diner with Jay, Kate, and Frank.
- Then we picked up Sara and went to Jay's.
- Then we went to Kate's house to drink.
-- 4 more people showed up and I was pretty drunk.
-- I talked to these black guys because Jay left.

Wednesday:
- I ran track with a hangover.
- Then I ran around with Jess and her mom.
- We went to GSP and I bought a shirt from Hollister.
- Then we went to Jess's and ate amazing pasta.
- Then we met up with Ethel and Janelle and went to the billiards.
- Shaun and Sara were there, so were Candice, Audrey, Samantha, and Shannon. That was dumb so we left.
- We dropped Jess off and went to Haledon for pizza and to see another Jay.
- Then the 4 of us drove to Passiac to a Porn Shop.
- Ethel bought The Italian Stallion, even though you were supposed be 21.
- Then we drove back to the pizza place to get Ethel's car.
- We went to Ethel's and watched the porn, which was so funny.
- Ethel's Mom kicked us out because Janelle was too loud, imagine that.

Thursday:
- I made tortallini soup. It was really good.
- My Aunt came over and she took me to Shotsie's.
-- My Aunt (she works in the O.R.) kept asking crazy questions like how many layers of skin does a tattoo go throuhg.
-- I got my belly button ring changed to a really pretty star.
- My Aunt and I then ran some errands and met up with my Uncle to run more errands.
- Then they dropped me off.
- I walked to Hershfield and met Nathan.
- We drove around after getting kicked out of Sunny Bank.
-- We got into a fight.
- Then I went to the diner in Oakland and met up with Shaun and Sara.
- We met up with Mike and he bought us alcohol and took us to the North Haledon Fire house (which I wouldn't believe was a firehouse if there weren't big red trucks inside.).
- Then we went to Sara's house.
-- Coogand and this kid Kevin came too.
- We all drank and it was fun.
-- We had Mike's Hard Lime, Ginger Beer, Guiness, Rumplimenz, Bacardi Superior, Vodka and of course OJ. So everyone had their own thing, but we all shared so it was good.
-- We tried to play Kings and Coogan kept having to drink.
-- Keetchi called last night, it was funny. He's so adorable.

Friday(today):
- I ran track.
- My mom made me Mac and Cheese.
- I don't have plans for tonight.


So today is New Year's Eve. I'm excited for tonight even though I don't have plans. I haven't made plans until like 8 or so every night this week and everything has worked out so well. I think I'm going to hang out with Coogan tonight.

Okay, so there's really nothing else I want to write about now so...

Happy New Year Everyone!

"Bang, Bang goes the broken glass."
.x. Justine .x.

( With Ciggerates and My 2 Closest Freinds I |Step Out On A Moonlit Roof.)

" We were too wasted to close the window." [27 Dec 2004|02:01pm]
[ mood | tired ]

Yesterday Jaleise came down and we went o NYC! It was soo much fun and it wasn't that cold. While we were there it snowed, it added to the magic of the city.

Here's The Tour...Collapse )

( With Ciggerates and My 1 Closest Freind I |Step Out On A Moonlit Roof.)

"Flash of red and green all over me, Freeze the things that you love." [25 Dec 2004|11:00am]
[ mood | mellow ]



My grandma is so cool! She bought me a pillow that says, "Who needs Santa when they have Nana?" It's so true.

Merry Christmas,
.x. Justine .x.

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